Jenny Do you ever have that feeling that you should be out and about more, instead of staying at home? As a spoonie parent with a chronic illness, I do. I feel like I should be more active with the kids and that they are potentially missing out on really enjoying the great outdoors, building a love of nature. But then I remind myself that the kids do get out and about. My son has walks and campfires with his Scout group, my daughter loves bike rides with her Dad and we still go on family walks out at the weekend, when the weather is nice and I can use my mobility scooter.
I enjoy these family walks – especially the part where we stop at the pub for a warming glass of red wine at the end! – but, really, I am a homebody. And I love it. My husband finds it hard to believe that I don’t want to leave our house more often, that I don’t feel ‘cooped up’ or lonely stuck at home. But I don’t. I actually consider being a homebody a good thing for me, and I think that I would have always been one, regardless of my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis.
Right now, I am sitting on the sofa, looking out of our bay window and seeing the grey skies and crazy wind in our trees. As the weather cools down and the nights come earlier, when is it a better time to be a homebody? For me, there are so many benefits of staying at home:
Cosy Clothes, No Make-up and Lap Blankets
Need I say more? Yes, there are things to do, such as preparing dinner, cleaning the bathroom, putting a wash on… but in between those jobs, I can keep toasty and comfortable in a way that I couldn’t whilst I was out and about at work, or seeing friends at a coffee shop. At home, you don’t have to worry about what you look like, you can wear a face mask whilst getting on with jobs, and no-one will know – unless the door goes, that is!
Finding Myself
Spending time at home allows me to truly immerse myself in things that I am interested in. I have more time to read, teach myself to sew, learn German and watch the TV programmes I love. As a spoonie, some days have to be spent at home; my health doesn’t allow an alternative. I might as well make the most of it by doing something I love. Sounds cheesy, but the more time I spend with myself, the more comfortable I feel about who I am.
The more time I spend with myself, the more comfortable I feel about who I am Click To TweetSaving Money
I save money by not eating out, using less petrol, fewer spontaneous coffees and lunches, fewer gig tickets… that’s not to say I don’t like going out, I do… sometimes. But when I do, I really, really appreciate it. I guess it links to being more mindful – if you don’t do something very much, it makes it extra special when you do and you take it all in, to ‘bank’ the memory for next time. Being a homebody also saves time. With the exception of when I have parenting duties, when I might need to put my own needs on the backburner, I don’t have to wait in queues, traffic, for coffees… everything is there pretty much right away, because it is right in front of me.
A Healthier Lifestyle
Being at home means that I don’t have to make the effort to go to the gym – I have Yoga with Adriene right in my front room. And I can do it in my pyjamas, as I often do. Although my husband can get to the shops more easily than I can, we also have regular grocery deliveries to make sure that we don’t run out of our staple foods. This means that it is a lot easier to make a simple meal rather than give in to a takeaway. A lack of rushing about leads to reduced stress and having the time to spend time on resting and meditation means that I am potentially more mentally healthy than I would have been if I was still struggling with the work-life balance.
Being More Organised
I’ve written before about ‘a tidy house, a tidy mind’. Being at home means that I can spend 5 minutes having a quick tidy – and a few of those over the course of the day keeps my home largely ticking over. Until the children get home that is! I have also noticed that since I have spent more time at home, I am more on top of the kids’ clubs and school activities. There seems to be texts every day from school reminding us about a payment for this, a payment for that. Since I haven’t been out to work, my ability to keep organised has improved and I’ve never missed a payment, as I have in the past.
Quality Time with Loved Ones
I may not get a huge amount of visitors as others are at work when I am at home, but the time I do spend with friends and family is proper quality time. I book time in the diary and I make sure that I am rested enough to truly enjoy the visit. And I know that I am lucky to be able to see the kids every day before and after school. I may miss work massively, but the important thing is to focus on the positive opportunities that arise when I decide to put my health first.
The important thing is to focus on the positive opportunities that arise when I decide to put my health first Click To Tweet***
Being a homebody doesn’t mean that you are anti-social or boring. It means that you are comfortable with who you are and your environment. Many of us have no choice but to be at home, because of sickness or chronic illness. I hope that these positive thoughts about being a homebody help. I would love to hear if you are a homebody – which aspects do you love most?
MY TOP HOMEBODY ACCESSORIES:
‘Til next time,
I’m the same Jen, but I do need to get out the house more, as I have a tendency of just “pottering”, and it could be a week before I’ve gone out!. But I am never bored, and the day’s go fast. I am disciplined and set myself a routine each day (some days go out the window, but hey)! and I have diary dates for meet ups with friends every 4-6 weeks or so, so like yourself, I can rest up before hand. Wishing you a lovely weekend, and keep warm as it’s going to get colder!. xx
Is it?! Oh no! I love pottering but I agree, the da goes by very quickly. Sometimes I haven’t really done anything useful xx
Apparently so!. Brr!..x
My world is my home. Over the last twenty years I have stayed in like more & more; like ripples with ever decreasing circles.
But do I mind. No. I can cope at home, with days wearing no make up. Early evenings sat on the sofa with my blanket. Looks sad from the outside- but to me I feel safe, comfortable.
You sound exactly like me Sue! x
I am just the same Sue! Nothing better than no make-up , a blanket and home comforts 🙂 x
I am a Homebody, only because I have MS. if I didn’t have it god only knows what kind of trouble I’d be getting into, albeit the trouble would be good. I often tell my Dad, “as bad as I got it, I got it pretty good.” I do not like being sidelined with MS but I like my apartment, it’s perfect for the situation I’m in. What I love most about my homebodyness is the convenience. For me, MS is a persnickety beast that requires much attention; putting proper things into my body, taking care of my body and keeping my home tidy as well. It is definitely a full time job for me. I often wonder if I’m doing it right, living with MS, but then I think of an MS blogger who said something like we are all just doing what we think is best. And that is for sure.
Thanks for posting Jen, grateful in the US,
JE
Thanks so much for your comment Johan 🙂 . Yes, I completely agree with you, all of what I do is a full time job for me too! I think that we just do what we can to keep ourselves as well as we can be (mentally and physically) and that is brilliant, we can’t ask for more xx
When I first was injured I felt trapped in my home. Now it takes serious coaxing to get me to leave. I do wander the property but since there are people beyond the property lines I try to avoid going anywhere.
I’m the same Elizabeth, I don’t mind going out once in a while, but I am MUCH more comfortable at home xx
You’ve summed up the positives so well, and as a fellow homebody, I agree that there are good things too (even though it can feel difficult to appreciate them when you feel you’re missing out or feel the weight of expectations that you ‘should’ be doing more). I’ve also become more organised, saved money, valued the smaller things more. I’ve also become less dependent on others and the view/expectations of others (though it’s still a tricky one), more able to enjoy my own company. love the products you’ve recommended too! Wish I knew how to make an Amazon listy like that, I have much to learn technology-wise! 🙂
xx
I think that I have also become so much better at appreciating and enjoying my own company. I’m not anti-social by any means, but I do prefer not feeling the pressure to see people. Re the Amazon list – are you an affiliate? When I become one it automatically loaded an amazon share bar to my amazon account and I just cut and paste the code for each item in my blog post. xxxx
Thanks Jen. I have an affiliate account (earned 0p) but some things just go over my head so I stick to the basics. Are those products all individual codes then? Looks like a neat box that comes ready made of items!
I’m glad you can also appreciate your own company, I like to think you can be alone and enjoy that time in being ‘alone’ but not ‘lonely’ and still be sociable when you’re up to it. xx
They are all individual codes, just pop them in your post right next to each other, no gaps, and they will show up like that 🙂 . I have just started using it, so no joy for me et either! xx
Thank you for writing this. Im very conflicted with this piece, & surprised even myself by my reaction. Ive battled MS since 1999, have gone toe to toe with 3 brain tumors along this journey & have been homebound myself for a greater part of that time. In the last 10years, Ive found myself in a continual battle whether Im ok being homebound a majority of the time(despite looking fine) & missing a normal life, MY life I once had. Its a slippery slope, one I teeter back & forth on.
Just now, while trying to figure out how long its really been since I had to quit bible study, frequent lunch & coffee dates with friends, I admit its hard to recall how long its been since Ive had regular commingling with the world as well as my community. Although Ive had to accept being confined at home, often in bed, I struggle with the fact Im missing out on things Id love to do, aspire to do, while falling short on keeping up on that which I have to do as a responsible adult, wife & mom. Every day is a battle to cope with severe chronic pain & fatigue, a myriad of other symptoms while remaining upbeat & light hearted. My 3 chihuahuas help alot! Also, my hubby of 27yrs & 3 kids keep me focused, it takes determination for sure! Sure I relate to this piece in so many ways but Id be lying if I didnt say I miss the life, though a simple one, I once had & have to wonder are we being honest with ourselves if we say we have no inner struggle, no grief, anger or pain because were homebound? This while we watch our friends, loved ones & community have a normal life, enjoying “the simples” we once did, being free without any thought or hesitation about how it will affect their health.
Maybe Im alone in this, but honestly Im not totally convinced being 100% gleeful & fine we’re sick or unable to function in the outside world as we once did is 100% honest. Like, should we be? My other concern is how this affects our family members, it has to & does no matter how supportive they are. Maybe the reality is we can miss the life we had, grieve it, while we live the one were have now & make the best of it.
Im on a journey to find a common ground between my life now & the one I once had, in the mean time Ill do my best to remain positive, to tether myself to hope, my faith in Gods purpose for my life & maybe most of all just be glad Im still here, ALIVE! Ive been thru ALOT, cheated death at least 3 times(that I know of) but Im still here😊
Thank you so, so much for your comment, I love to hear from everybody and I am so sorry to hear everything that you have been through. I was diagnosed with MS in 1994 (first symptoms when I was 13 years old) and I definitely had a much more active life before compared to what I have now. I am ‘lucky’ in that my SPMS only started negatively affecting me about 7 years ago. Since that time, I have have had to leave the job that I loved and I am about to go into hospital for a month to have stem cell therapy in order to try and halt the lesions my body is still making on top of the SPMS damage that has already happened. I DO love being at home… but I can still get out and about with planning and organisation. I rely on a scooter and crutches and loads and loads of support from my husband. I am able to meet friends for occasional coffees. Would I feel the same if I was completely unable to leave the house? I can categorically say ‘no’, I wouldn’t love being at home all the time. But at the moment, with my mobility difficulties and fatigue, I have to admit that I am happiest at home MOST of the time. If you read more of my blog, you’ll realise that I am not always cheerful and I definitely highlight the rubbish that comes with MS. For me, personally, I find it helps for me to be as positive that I can be (in the fact of this frankly crap diagnosis) and that this comes in the form of ‘looking on the bright side’, whether that is looking at the things that I enjoy about being at home, or being thankful that, despite having to spend most of my time at home, I still have friends and family that want to see me, even if it means that I can’t always make it out. I can definitely still say that I am a homebody (as I was before my MS started affecting me), but then I am not homebound. Thanks so much for your comment, wishing you health xx
[…] I know that many people hate the winter months – there are lots of things that I don’t like about the cold and the lack of accessibility if there is snow, but I absolutely love the excuse to stay in. I sit under a blanket, watch telly and drink hot chocolate! I’ve recently finished reading a book called “The Year of Living Danishly” by Helen Russell and the way the author describes the time between Christmas and New Year – full of hygge and family time with no need to go out, sounds perfect to me. I often wonder if I would be like this if I didn’t have a chronic illness? I suspect so! I remember when I was a child living in Canada, being all warm and cosy inside whilst looking at the snowfall and snow climbing up against our glass doors. I think that set me up for a lifetime being a bit of a homebody. […]