Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 #KindnessMatters -

Hi everyone! It is Mental Health Awareness Week (18-24th May 2020) here in the UK and the theme this year is #KindnessMatters.

This year, perhaps more than ever because of Covid-19, it is so important to consider both our and others’ mental health. No one is exempt from mental health difficulties and of course, kindness also benefits everyone, not just those of us with a diagnosed chronic illness; a survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that:

63% of UK adults agree that when other people are kind it has a positive impact on their mental health and the same proportion agree that being kind to others has a positive impact on their mental health

The Mental Health Foundation has also made some brilliant little videos showing just how kindness matters, with stories and research on their website:

Being Kind to Others

Have a think about those times that other people have been kind to you – how did it make you feel? Now turn it on its head and think about the times you have shown kindness to others – did it leave you with a warm, fuzzy glow? I know it does for me. I suppose that I liken it to gift-giving – I much prefer giving gifts, seeing the expression on people’s faces and knowing that I have made them happy.

When you have a chronic illness, sometimes it feels like it can be challenging to do things for others, when so much often needs to be done for you. But kindness can show itself in many ways – the ability to truly listen when people need to talk, a smile, holding the door open for others when their hands are full, or comforting a small child when he falls. Being inclusive, volunteering and being honest with others can also be ways to express kindness.

We are hard-wired as humans to rely on kindness in order to feel safe and secure – as babies and children, we need caregivers in order to grow and thrive. Being kind to others even releases oxytocin – known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ – and the more our bodies make, the more it wants to make. Oxytocin is linked to heart health, making it good for our mental and our physical health.

The Health Benefits of Kindness

Being Kind Can Help you Live Longer

According to Health.com, you’re at a greater risk of heart disease if you don’t have a strong network of family and friends. When you’re kind to others, you develop strong, meaningful relationships and friendships.

Being Kind Acts Like a Natural Anti-Depressant

Studies show that altruistic behaviour can help you to deal with stress, reducing its impact on emotional functioning.

Being Kind Can Reduce Inflammation in the Body

Inflammation in the body is associated with all sorts of health problems such as diabetes, cancer, chronic pain, obesity, and migraines. According to a study of adults aged 57-85, “volunteering manifested the strongest association with lower levels of inflammation.” Oxytocin also reduces inflammation, and even little acts of kindness can trigger oxytocin’s release.

Being Kind Can Give You a Natural High

Kindness can release a rush of serotonin, sometimes known as the ‘happy hormone’ because it contributes to well-being and happiness. Low serotonin levels have been linked to depression.

Being Kind to Ourselves

Being kind doesn’t stop with being altruistic with others though; we all also have to be kind to ourselves. I know that for me, with my chronic illness of Multiple Sclerosis, it is something that I have to do consciously, every day. I’ve found it even more difficult since I have been a parent, too; it is difficult to think about myself when my children need me to make their lunch or help them with their homework.

Read: Putting Yourself First as a Spoonie Parent

However, there are definite health benefits to showing ourselves more compassion on a day-to-day basis.

We’ll Have Less Stress

Being hard on ourselves (that harsh internal dialogue when we give the kids fish fingers for the 2nd day in a row or when we have to miss out on an event because of our illness) can actually raise the levels of cortisol in our blood (our stress hormone).

A Healthy Heart

Stressful situations can ignite the ‘fight or flight’ response in our bodies, where our blood pressure can spike. Practising kindness to ourselves can help to lessen the impact, slowing down our heart rate and reducing our blood pressure. For me, I find that meditation is one such kindness that helps; I definitely feel calmer whilst I am practising it and in the days that follow.

Read: Meditation Challenge – The Result!

A Boosted Immune System

Chronic (long-term) stress can actually have an effect on our immune response, so there truly is a mind-body connection. In comparison, those who practise self-kindness have been found to have fewer coughs and colds, according to Dr Kristin Neff, who talks about the importance of self-compassion.

Helps Us to Fight Chronic Pain

As mentioned above, our bodies can physically hold on to stress. Not only can this impact on our heart rate and immune response, but it can also mean that we tense our bodies more often, leading to even more muscular pain and tension. Activities that release endorphins – from meditation to exercise to watching your favourite TV show – can help to reduce pain, alleviate depression and boost self-esteem.

How to Practise Self-Kindness

Self-care has been a bit of a buzzword over the past few years, but it really is so important. The concept of self-compassion and self-care is varied; although often the first things that come to mind may be lazing in a hot bath or putting facemask on, for those of us who have a chronic illness, it might just be actually getting dressed for the day!

For me, taking time out to be kind to myself is now a non-negotiable; I know that if I don’t my mental health suffers. Just now, I am sitting down, enjoying a glass of red wine after chatting to my son before he went to bed. My morning coffee is a necessity. But, even more than that, the thing that has helped me the most is stopping negative self-talk. As soon as I start berating myself (and it can be for anything – something as simple as me dropping something or for something bigger, like my parenting), I stop and think of something else to take my mind off of it. I also remind myself that I am doing a great job, despite my chronic illness.

Read: I Am Enough

I journal now in order to keep a note of what I am doing well and when Adriene from Yoga With Adriene says, ‘thank yourself for carving out the time to do this’, I do! Here’s a fantastic short practice that she has for self-care:

So, what are some other ideas for self-kindness? Anything that makes you happy! For me, it is reading, yoga, meditation and crochet. But I also like the feeling of being organised, sitting in the sunshine, having a clean home and an early night. As long as I do a couple of these things a day, I know that I have taken steps to help my mental health.

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As you can see, there are mental and physical benefits to both being kind to others and to yourself. This Mental Health Awareness Week is the perfect time to reach out if you feel like you need some support with your mental health; we are living in a strange time when everything feels so different, now more than ever #KindnessMatters. Please find below further information as needed.

Till next time