Spoonie Parenting: Balancing Work and Kids

Any parent  – let alone a  ‘spoonie parent‘ – will tell you that one of the most difficult things balancing work and kids.  At the moment, I am not doing very much paid work, due to my ongoing MS symptoms.  In fact, I am now medically retired from my previous job in the NHS.  I might struggle with the same level of work that I was doing previously, but I am always on the lookout for bit and pieces that could top up my pension even by a few pounds. 

When I was working part-time, I had to try and spend as much time and energy as I could with my own kids whilst still enjoying my work and making a difference to other people’s children that I provided therapy for.  Whether you choose to work or have to work, whether you are part-time or full-time, one thing is certain – although some parents may choose to stay at home with their kids, many of us enjoy the time in the workplace and the financial benefits working gives to us.  

So how do you find that balance?  I have to admit that I actively looked forward to getting back to work after a year off with my son, 10 years ago.  I loved the fact that I could have stimulating conversations not about what my baby’s favourite tea was or how he was sleeping and enjoy a hot cup of tea!  As my MS worsened and I added a second child into the mix, it became more and more difficult to make sure that my kids were still given the best part of me and therefore the energy and attention they deserved.

Nowadays, I consider this blog my work; I enjoy doing it and it is important to me, just as paid work once was.  As such, I’m still balancing parenting and ‘work’.  This is how I try and manage it:

We eat dinner together

Ok, maybe not every night, but throughout the week we try to prioritise mealtimes as a time to share with our children.  Although eating together can be stressful (hello picky daughter), it allows us to much-needed catch-up time to really talk, as we have a device-free table. Conversation can range from the ridiculous (‘think of the most disgusting food that you can ever imagine eating’, ‘hair sausage’), to the more mundane but, either way, it is a designated time to communicate and connect together as a family unit.

Planning and Prepping

Life goes a lot more smoothly when the kids’ clothes are organised before bed, they have showers in the evening instead of the morning and packed lunches are sorted in advance.  These little organisation tips leave me with the energy I need to do a bit of work whilst they are out at school and the morning is not so much of a rush! Meal planning and prepping can also mean that I have more energy to spend with the children instead of panicking about what is for dinner that night and wondering if I can balance cooking with using the energy to write a blog post.

Spoonie Parenting Book Picks:

We have ‘family night’

One night a week, usually on a Friday, we have ‘family night’.  For us, this usually means homemade pizza and a movie.  If you decide to do this, it could be a games night, movie night, sports night – whatever you want to do together as a family, allocating one night per week to do so.  I just asked my 8-year-old daughter if she likes our Friday nights and she said, ‘yes, because it means that we can eat in front of the telly and be together’ – it doesn’t get more basic than that.

I am starting to work from home

Over the next year, I am hoping to be able to start working from home, carrying out speech therapy on a private basis, doing hours that suit me and my health.  On top of that, I would love to do more writing.    The world of chronic illness has really opened me up to the idea of self-employment and working from home; sites such as https://budgetboost.co/how-to-start-different-types-of-businesses-from-home/ are fab for providing ideas. Making the change from employment to self-employment can be a challenge, I know.  But, for me, being able to work in my jammies, take the kids to school and not having to leave the house at 7 am makes it worth it.

I’ve learned to say ‘no’

Doing overtime at work is tempting (think of the money!) and obviously sometimes a necessity.  However, if you have the chance to say ‘no’ on occasion, it might allow you to balance work and kids more effectively.  I know that, for me, if I am writing a blog post it can be tempting to keep going until it is finished – especially whilst it feels like I have the energy to do so!  But I try and switch off my laptop by 6 pm to allow me to spend time with the kids.  In fact, we have recently established ‘medieval hour’, where we turn off the wifi for at least an hour each day, giving us time to talk, play games, read or cook together.  Saying ‘no’, knowing when to stop with work and the ‘medieval hour’ has really helped me to balance my work and the kids.

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I am aware that my kids are growing up so quickly; they are now 11 and 8 years old!  I might not be in regular work anymore, but I know that most parents are – and many have a chronic illness like me!  This can make balancing work, parenting and energy even more difficult.  I hope that these ideas on how I try to balance work with kids have been helpful – do you have any top tips on how you balance your working life with your parenting life?

‘Til next time,

 

 

 

**This is a collaborative post**

Please have a read of my other Spoonie Parenting Posts:

Parents with Mobility Aids

Putting Yourself First as a Spoonie Parent

Thursday Thoughts: Parenting with a Chronic Illness is Hard

A Letter to My Kids