Jenny 
This is an updated version of this post, which I wrote a couple of years ago now, about surviving the holidays as a spoonie. How time flies! I feel like I try and stick to the same advice, although my Multiple Sclerosis does make it even more difficult these days. Two years ago, although I was a spoonie, I was still working and my symptoms were not as pronounced as they are now. Still, life goes on, this time of year is as busy as ever, and I still need to take my own advice on how best to survive the holidays as a spoonie with a progressive chronic illness.
I would love to able to say that I am mega-super-organised at this time of year; that I have bought and wrapped my presents, menu planned and arranged exciting Christmas crafts for the kids, so I can sit back, relax and crack open the mulled wine. But the reality is that I have done my shopping… and that is it. The kids have been mega busy at school, so it has taken all my effort to remember Christmas party days, discos, Christmas jumper day and the school Christmas Fayre. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the energy this year to coerce the kids into helping me make some OMS-friendly Christmas pudding – this is the first year that I haven’t, but I am trying not to beat myself up about it. Instead, I have bought myself some luxury dried mixed fruit and will be simmering that with spices and orange juice and serving them with non-dairy ice cream for an easy pud.
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I love this time of year – warm fires, hot chocolate, watching Christmas films with the family – but whereas in the past I also aspired to be the perfect host, this year, I am more laid back about it. To be honest, I just haven’t got the energy. It is my son’s birthday in December, so I often feel like my head is bursting with ‘to do’ lists throughout December! It takes some effort, but I have decided not to beat myself up about not being the ‘perfect’ parent and friend and to instead focus on what is really important – time with the family, making memories and just enjoying myself.
My personal prescription for a relaxing-as-possible holiday season ironically relies a lot on organisation; but it is the kind of organisation that will allow me to make the most of what little energy I have and hopefully save me some spoons too:
Surviving the Holidays as a Spoonie
Plan and Choose Wisely
With everything going on I know that I am going to be even more exhausted. Hence the need to carefully think about what we have been invited to, about what is a non-negotiable for me and to make a conscious decision about what I am going to have to say ‘no’ to. One of the hardest things is saying no to something that in the past I would have loved to have done… but I know that sometimes that one extra night out with friends can floor me for days. I know that my good friends would understand if I can’t always make it out.
Rest and Indulgence
I’m not going to lie, as things get busier, I just crave more and more ‘me’ time. It is so important to factor in rest and indulgence. My very generous cousin who lives in Singapore recently treated me to a ‘Birchbox’ – a monthly beauty box that is delivered to my door full of treats to indulge in, such as face masks, a new lippy and gorgeous-smelling bath oils. Although I love spa treatments, at home ones are even more perfect – I don’t have to leave the house! I’ve had a lavender eye pillow on my ‘wish list’ for ages… I think that I will just have to go ahead and buy myself a little Christmas present.As things get busier...it is so important to factor in rest and indulgence #spoonie Click To Tweet
Mindfully Enjoying the Little Moments
One of the things on my self-care list is meditation. I even challenged myself to do a month of meditation earlier this year and I am pleased to say that I have stuck with it. I tend to use the Calm app and regularly fall asleep to one of their sleep stories (Stephan Fry’s voice is so relaxing!). Meditation helps me to feel calmer and more in control of my emotions on a daily basis. It helps me not to dwell on how difficult things are for me and I feel so much better when I just take the time to enjoy the little things; meditating helps me to stop focusing on the bad stuff and take a step back from it all. Yes, I may be a spoonie and have a chronic illness that impacts on every aspect of my life, but I also have a beautiful family, a lovely home and brilliant friends. I appreciate this so much – and I look forward to enjoying all the memory-making moments that are sure to arise this holiday.
Family Time
This is one of my ‘non-negotiables’. It’s really important to me that the kids remember Christmas with fondness. What is better than snuggling up together with a good movie and popcorn? Days out can be energy-sapping for me, but do I love it when we make the effort to go somewhere we haven’t been before and I can watch the kids have fun at adventure playgrounds and exploring. Bittersweet, because I will be watching them from my scooter instead of climbing and playing with them, but worth it for taking a break from the norm. This year, it is just the 4 of us at home. This means that we can have Christmas Day just as we like it – no rush to get anywhere, with the day spent assembling (and no doubt swearing at!) the kids’ toys.
Keeping it Easy
Over the past few years, everything has been as fuss-free as possible. Online shopping for gifts, preparing things in advance… I am lucky to have such an excellent cook for a husband, as he is happy to leave me to the ‘little’ jobs, that I enjoy doing (homemade cranberry sauce, anyone?) and that don’t take much effort. I find that if I take my time and choose where to focus my energy wisely, I can usually manage to cook up some OMS friendly treats (I love this recipe for low-fat gingerbread biscotti).
The Feel-Good Factor – From Within
Something that has become a Christmas tradition since having kids is sitting down with them at the computer to choose a charity to give to. In the past, we’ve bought mosquito nets and school supplies from Oxfam Unwrapped, donated to Water Aid and Save the Children. This year, I have become one of the ‘founding 500’, giving a monthly donation to Charity:Water to help communities around the world have clean water. I haven’t been able to give a lot for my monthly amount, but every little helps and it makes me feel good for doing it. No matter how crap I feel about my situation, it does not compare to what some families have to contend with. I want the children to know that it is always important to think of others less fortunate than themselves. I have recently written a post on how to be both more frugal and more ethical in the holidays. Is it only me, or does it suddenly seem like the world has ‘woken-up’ to the trouble that it is in? I hope that by making even tiny changes to how I am living, I am making a difference.No matter how much crap I am going through, it doesn't compare with what some families have to contend with #holidays Click To Tweet
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So, it is now a week before Christmas eve, we have our tree up, the kids finish school on Thursday and we’ve watched our first Christmas movies as a family. It is all starting to feel a bit more Christmassy. I can’t guarantee that I won’t be shattered and in need of a good rest by the time the kids are back at school in the new year, but I do know that if I stick to my plan above on how to survive the holidays as a spoonie I will at least enjoy getting so exhausted!
Wishing everyone a lovely holiday season.
Reading this as I sit here wrapping the last of the presents. Decorations finally went up yesterday. School Carol concert and fayre over. Ballet concert over and the last day of school is Friday. That gives me the rest of the week to get ahead with baking and to rest.
As usual we’ve had our pre Christmas house disaster and I’m also waiting for the plumber to deal with the leak in our new boiler (through the girls bedroom ceiling.
Pacing yourself is so hard when every year you need more rest and less activity though.
I hear you! We’re having both boiler problems and a leaky roof at the moment 🙁 It is going to be an expensive new year. I hope that you have a fab Christmas Karen, despite your disaster. Sending you lots of good wishes for 2019 xxx
Some great tips, and I agree with the whole being more organised thing in helping to ease the stress a bit because I’m finding having things in order a little better means I can more easily pace and find times to rest and make sure I’ve got the time/energy to do more enjoyable things in between. I feel stupid asking this because I may be having a “moment” here, but what’s OMS stand for (“OMS friendly treats”)? I know OMS as overcoming MS, so I wasn’t sure. I love that last part you wrote too – I feel like I’m going to be exhausted and in pain regardless, but at least we can be like that and have enjoyed moments, made the most of this time appreciating the important things and spending time with family rather than spending it too stressed out or frustrated. xxxx
Hi Caz! Yes, ‘OMS-friendly treats’ means treats that stick to the OMS diet protocol, so low saturated fat and dairy-free. I maybe need to explain it more in my blog! Overcoming MS (OMS) is a lifestyle programme that advocates diet, exercise, vitamin D and meditation to help deal with MS, alongside any medication. I try and stick to it as it makes me feel mentally healthier, even though not necessarily physically! People who do it early in the disease course show that sticking to it can actually reduce the chance of progression of the disease, it has all been proved through research. I hope that explains it!! Also, can I just say that I hope that you have a happy Christmas with as little stress as possible. I appreciate you reading so much and I wish you loads of happiness in 2019. xxxx
Have a lovely Christmas Jen with your beautiful family and all the best for 2019 x
You too Elaine! And thank you so much for reading my blog, I get so much support from you, I really appreciate it 🙂 Happy holidays xx