Things to Remember on Down Days

I’m usually a very positive person, as I hope I get across in this blog.  But, down days do find me and, though I know that it is not the most uplifting thing to read, I find that blogging about them helps me to get through them.  Blogging helps me to put my thoughts into perspective, take a step back and look at what I am going through objectively, as it were.  I also hope that by writing down my thoughts others who may be feeling the same way as me, realise that they aren’t alone, that others out there understand.  Many of you will know that I’m involved with the fantastic Dizzycast, a podcast lead by Heather of Dinosaurs, Donkeys and MS, where we discuss Multiple Sclerosis and the how it can affect us.  Becoming friends with Heather and Robert (of a 30 Minute Life) has been amazing.  Finally, people who really, truly understand!  We discuss anything and everything about MS, but my favourite podcast by far has been the one where we talked about our emotions.  You can have a listen here.

I am very conscious that my down days are very much linked to what else is going on in my life.  Recently, for example, I have been contending with both ill health retirement – finishing a job that I loved – and also the upheaval of upcoming medical treatment.  I am on tenterhooks still waiting for my date for that to start to come through the post and, as a result, I feel like a tightly coiled spring.

I am pleased to say that the days that I feel full of despair and anxiety do go.  That is not to say that they don’t come back again, but I know that by keeping a few things in mind that I can minimise the impact that they may have:

I’m allowed to have down days

Everyone has down days; it is a way of life.  No-one can be ‘up’ all the time and we shouldn’t expect to be.  It might not be obvious, in this social media-savvy world, as people don’t like to advertise that they’re not feeling the best.  I know that it is a NORMAL part of life, for everyone.

I know that keeping a positive mindset will help

Have you heard of a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’?  In very simple terms, the idea is that if you believe something to be true, it will become true.  So, if you continually think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will become negative too and the cycle will continue.  I know that if I think, ‘ok, I’m going through a rough patch, but tomorrow will be better’, then it helps to keep my negative emotions from spiralling out of control.

I let others in

One of the reasons why I loved the Dizzycast that I linked to above was the fact that I could just talk.  I could tell others about how I sometimes feel.  Did they wave a magic wand and fix me?  No.  But it did let in a little bit of light, it took a weight off my chest.  I know that I can go to my family or friends if I am feeling rubbish, but I also know, since starting this blog, just how much connecting to others with chronic illnesses helps me.  To be able to let off steam and just simply say, ‘I’m having a bad day’, to others who understand, is massive.  I have connected with and made virtual friends through avenues such as Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and I am so grateful for them.

I identify my triggers and try to let them go

I have always been a person who likes to be organised or have something ‘on the go’.  When I knew that I was going to be stopping paid work, I was conscious that I needed to try and keep my brain working,  so I decided to embark on an online course that requires monthly assignments.  The thing is, I swapped one pressure for another – the pressure to stay in work for the pressure to try and stick to timescales that I knew that I may not be able to.  I soon realised that the pressure that I was putting myself under to complete the coursework just wasn’t doing me any good.  So I have stopped.  Yes, I have wasted money, but I also feel lighter for making the decision to not focus on something that was giving me so much added stress. In the same vein, I try not to sweat the small stuff.  It is easy for me to get het up about how much of a mess the house is in, but, as long as it isn’t doing me physical harm (i.e. I am at risk of tripping), I try to take a step back from it as much as I can. It’s not always easy, I’ll admit!

I treat myself well

I recognise that when I do have my ‘down days’ that I need to treat myself extra well.  I allow myself time to sleep, I don’t pressurise myself to get things done.  That is why my blogs can be quite sporadic –  sometimes, I just don’t feel like writing. And that’s ok.  Some days, I want to treat myself with all the typical ‘self-care’ activities – doing a face mask, getting my nails done – other days just having a shower is enough, if that. I know that if I am doing all I can to stay as healthy as possible – by eating well, exercising how and when I can and taking steps to keep my stress levels down – I am working towards keeping myself as mentally healthy as I can be. This can help me be as resilient as possible, against the down days.

I recognise that when I do have my 'down days' that I need to treat myself extra well Click To Tweet

I find things to be thankful for

It’s easy for me to focus on bad things that are happening to me – I live with the symptoms of my MS every day and it has changed my life in so many ways, not necessarily for the better.  But, and this is a big but, I have so much other stuff that is going for me… I love my family.  My children make me proud every day, they are developing into such kind and caring individuals with the funniest personalities.  I live in a fantastic house and have brilliant friends who offer me help all the time. I still take enjoyment of good food, great box sets, crochet, holidays.  Yes, I have MS, but if you take that away, I am so, so lucky.  I try and focus on this by filling in my ‘thankful ‘ journal every day, even if I am having a down day.

Is there anything that you do that helps you on your down days?  I’d love to hear.  Until then, keep in touch and have a fab rest of the week 🙂

Nothing Days