The HSCT Chronicles: To Wig or Not To Wig?

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That is the question…

It’s been going around my mind for some time now.  My first thought was ‘yes’ and I bought a wig after watching various YouTube videos on styles and makes.  After it arrived and I tried it on, though, I wasn’t so sure.  It was just so… I don’t know, shiny I guess and like a really, really good version of the hair that I had 20 years ago!  After a couple of days umming and ahhing, it went back and I resigned myself to using scarves if and when the time comes.

Hair Loss and HCST

According to the UK MS Society and of course my doctor, there are significant risks associated with HSCT.  I am going to be at a greater risk of developing long-term infections, cancer and fertility problems. Joy. The chemotherapy part of the treatment has its own side-effects too: sickness, increased risk of bleeding and bruising and potential hair loss.  I know it is wrong that the one side-effect I am thinking about most of all is hair loss; I am sure in the whole scheme of things the impact of it on my life compared to the potential other side effects will be pretty minimal.  Still, like it or not, our hair forms part of our identity and not having it when I usually do will be like telling the world, ‘I’m sick!”  I remember when I first spoke to my haematology nurse about my treatment that she said that I should expect ‘a little hair loss’.  There was me thinking it would be like the hair loss that I had following pregnancy; annoying and noticeable to me but perhaps not so much to others.  But then she started talking about wigs… and I realised that it was to be a bit more than just ‘a little hair loss’.  I can’t seem to find any information on the probability and the extent of the hair loss to occur, but I am preparing for total hair loss.  The (admittedly small) sample of people who have had HSCT for MS that I have seen on YouTube have had enough hair loss to shave their heads.

Wigs: The Pros and Cons

Although I sent the wig back, my thoughts have returned to the possibility of using a wig in recent weeks.  I’m thinking mainly about my family and, specifically, the kids.  I am already the ‘different’ parent who uses a mobility scooter; do I want to the one who extends that to looking a bit different too?  My thoughts are:

The Pros:

• I don’t have to wear it all the time – it will give me an added choice about how I look
• It will mean that people who I don’t know won’t look at me in a ‘poor you’ way – my friend said that if she saw a woman with no hair, she would assume that she has cancer
• I might feel a bit more feminine?
• The kids would prefer me to use one (my daughter has already said this)

The Cons:

• People who know me and what I am going through will know it is not my real hair
• Why should I have to fit society’s norms of what is considered beautiful?
• The cost – we are looking at £300+ for one that looks as real as possible

The Verdict

I think that I will get one.  My deciding factor is my children and I will do everything that I can to help them deal with my HSCT treatment.  I won’t necessarily wear my wig around the house but if it makes them happier for me to wear it out, that is what I will do.

Now it is just a case of choosing the right one!  The one I had before was called the ‘Cameron’:

It is the same colour and style as my natural hair, albeit in better condition!  So not too much of a change for me or my kids.

I plan to still get some pretty headscarves to wear on the days I decide not to use the wig.

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So there we go!  That’s my thought process.  I would love to hear from anyone else who has had HSCT – whether you had hair loss, how you are doing now and whether you decided to wear a wig?

I have my initial blood tests tomorrow, so will be updating soon regarding my treatment.  The plan is to start the chemo and harvesting in a couple of weeks.

Till next time,

 

 

 

Please have a read of the other blog posts about my HSCT:

HSCT – My Next Step

The HSCT Chronicles: Telling the Kids